How To Find Time For You As A Mum
Being a Mum is hard!
No matter what you read or who you listen to, one thing is certain – nothing can properly prepare you for Motherhood. The difficulty is, in doing it all, are we also putting our own health and wellbeing at risk?
So, how can you find some “me time”?
Fill your own cup – This is a variation on a quote that is often seen regarding motherhood. It is the KEY to ensuring that you are able to still give to others. You need to ensure that your ‘cup’ is not always empty. How can you give to others if you have nothing left to give?
The thing is to acknowledge that in order to still be you and be a mother and partner you need to know that you will need to put some time into your own health. It is not an easy process, every time we even think of doing something for ourselves, the guilt can kick in. Put that aside and know that it is VITAL for your family for you to stay happy and healthly.
Realising that you NEED to put some energy into your own wellbeing will enable you to be more present in your other roles: Mummy, Partner, Daughter, Employee or Business Owner. So, with that now in the front of your mind, how can you start to find the time and energy for yourself?
A quick overview of some tips on the video - for those of you who just hate to read a list!!
Things to try
- Take a moment before you get out of bed in the morning to think of something you are grateful for. It does not always need to be the big stuff, sometimes it can be really small such as “the baby only woke once last night” or “it looks like it will be a sunny day”. This Gratitude Practice can often have a profound impact on how we start a new day.
- Decide to do one small thing today just for you. Again, it might be to drink a cup of tea when it is still hot! Put on makeup before you go out. Often, just a few minutes needed to complete these small tasks allows us to take a minute – just for us. If you fancy a lovely bath, you can always take a few minutes and make the natural bath soaks (recipe in the mindful makes blog)
- Mindful Moments, so when you decide on your one small thing, be present in that moment. Do not make up the next feed while drinking your tea, or talk to your child when you are putting on your make up. Just enjoy the simple pleasure of completing this one thing, just for you. These Mindful Moments allow our brain some time to rest and re-set and affect not just the brain waves but also our parasympathetic nervous system (the one that controls our involuntary nervous system), so our blood pressure lowers, breath deepens and heart rate slows.
- Pick something to read. Just for the pleasure, whether it is a trashy mag or a book you have wanted to read for ages. Nothing too taxing or large, or you will be defeated and see it as something else you have not finished. This is not your guilty pleasure but a real gift. Sharing the love of reading with our children is part of parenting, but we often then do not have the time to pick up something we want to read.
- Connect with friends and family. It is easy to stay in contact with people over social media but it is really important for your wellbeing to actually meet up with people. Getting out and about is vital for our emotional and social wellbeing. Being a Mum can be a lonely business, being able to chat with other women can really help to reassure us that we are all in the same boat!
- Get planning on something bigger, an evening out or meeting friends for coffee or lunch. Book a Massage (great for the body and soul), have your hair cut or maybe even a night away! Just the act of planning allows us to think of something that is not revolving around other people’s needs.
- Go Outside, it can be a dog walk with a friend (combining number 5 as well!), or a stroll round the park while you are waiting at school pick up. The endorphins realised during exercise is well known, as is the major benefits of being in the fresh air.
- Light a candle, something so small but it can literally bring you light! A little ray of something beautiful - especially on a dark Winters day. Have one that has some essential oils in it if possible then you will also benefit from the aroma that fills the room.
- Get a cleaner! I know really? Yes, ditch the guilt on the cost. The small weekly outlay will be worth it. You will be at home, kids taking a nap, on a gadget or playing and think “Oh I really should just clean the bathroom, or dust or….” Let’s face it, the list is endless! Knowing that the basics are covered will have a direct impact on your mental health! We are back to the mindset again, remember, your health needs to be a priority too!
Motherhood is the most wonderful thing to enter our lives, embrace it but also believe that you are worthwhile too. Be KIND to yourself. We are often our own worst critics and listening to that voice in our head over the choices we make can be life-affecting. You are doing a marvellous job (yes it is indeed a job – just without pay!). I hope you feel that you can now create your own Me Time with these simple tips.
So, be kind to yourself without guilt. Enjoy your journey with your family and welcome to the ultimate TRIBE – Motherhood.
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Here's to more joy on your parenting journey
Rachel Hawkes is a mum to twin teenagers and teaches baby and kids yoga & mindfulness classes, alongside running a business Wellbeing Centre. She is a published author of 2 books relating to Mindful Parenting and loves to share her tips and ideas wherever she can.
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